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    Is one of you hoping it will turn into marriage and kids while the other is commitment-phobic and enjoys seeing more than one person at a time? Money and sex are two driving forces behind divorce.

    After a few dates, sit down to discuss your thoughts on relationships, commitment, and how you’d define where you currently are — and where you might be headed. Be transparent about your own spending habits and talk about your respective relationships with money. Does he secretly dream of starting his own business?

    I also love playing detective and helping solve 'cases' like relationship patterns and shady situations.

    In this free and detailed guide, I explain the 7 key roles we adopt in romantic relationships that mean that we are settling for emotional unavailability.

    When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a teacher, then a detective (like Columbo or Jessica Fletcher, ahem), and then a writer.

    Many moons later, and here I am teaching people who are tired of emotional unavailability, toxic relationships, and feeling 'not good enough', how to reduce their emotional baggage so that they can reclaim themselves and make space for better relationships and opportunities.

    If you start getting on his case (“Why didn’t you call? ”, etc.) he will feel trapped and suffocated and start pulling away.

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    The other thing is that people pleasing and perfectionism have already been proven to not work for you—there’s a better, easier way to live and love: becoming more of who you really are by breaking the faux rules you’ve written for your life, confronting your emotional baggage so it’s stops running you, and choosing wellbeing over pleasing.Play a fun game of guessing what each other's favorites are. Personal history is a large part of your current personality.Take your love on a 'web tour' of places in your city you like to visit or have been to in the past. As you laugh at the same movies and share decadent desserts, make sure you’re getting to know important details of each other’s lives, too. Some people aspire to having a love story like their parents, others want to avoid their parents’ mistakes.): Compatible values are essential in developing a healthy relationship. If you’re ready to have sex after date ten and your date is waiting for an “I love you” first — or maybe even marriage — things will get awkward if these physical-relationship expectations aren’t outlined before one of you rejects the other. Can you see yourself becoming friends with them, too?

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